Eva Horowitz, sporting one of her belts. |
For 37 years, Eva Horowitz was a speech and language
pathologist living near Boston. Then she and her husband decided to upend their
lives. They packed up and moved.
Their aged parents, their adult son and grandchildren had
all landed in Connecticut. Their best friends had relocated near this new
family hub. Eva’s school system was offering “a
minor incentive to retire,” and she thought, “‘Hmm, I’m 60; this may just tip
the scales.” Then, the clincher: “Someone said, ‘We’ll take your house. Just
walk out.’”
“It seemed like all the stars were aligned,” Eva said. “So we moved.”
Her transition-- a reinventing of herself, from full time work, to what? and
from a tight social life, to who will be my friend? -- was a daunting challenge she knew
lay before her.
A stylish, gregarious
woman, Eva decided she would tackle the move in the same way she had tackled
her sideline – selling designer belts to boutiques, out of the trunk of her
car.
”I said to myself, no one’s going to ask me to join their
lives because I’m the newcomer so I have to put myself out there,” Eva
explained. “One of the things you learn
in sales is that you say to people, ‘Just try it on. If you don’t like it, you
can just take it off.’ So using that philosophy was how I kind of navigated my
way through the new life.”
At a dinner party for 12, where she knew only two people,
she announced: “‘I’ve always wanted to start a film group; I’m asking everybody
in the room to give me a try. I’ll do all the work. You can meet at my house.
If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again,’-- kind of like the belt.”
The film group is in
its second year.
“Then I wanted to be in a book group and I didn’t know
anybody. So any time I saw anyone from
the age of 45 to 70 reading a book, I’d say, ‘What are you reading? Is that for
pleasure or part of a book group?’ I
started collecting names and a year later I had 10 names and now we have a book
group.”
There was more.
“I never had any discretionary time in my life, I’d always
worked. I felt like I was in a candy shop. What will I do next? So I signed up
for all kinds of courses,” she explained. “My philosophy was I was going to try
everything and if I didn’t like it, I could discard it. I learned to play
bridge and when I played with someone I liked, I said, ‘You know, I feel this
connection with you. Can I have your email?’ I would follow up and now I have
new friends who play bridge.. So that’s been my philosophy going forward.”
To Eva’s surprise, she found that “people our age are open
and excited about new events, new people. I wouldn’t have believed that for a
minute. I’d thought they were all hooked into their old life.”
Her energy has created a new social network for herself and
to some extent for her husband.
“That was my job… to build a life. And I think I’m doing a
good job.”
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