A Rant on What You Should Call Me

Dump those words!!! The Forward has printed my argument for banning E-words and the like, with this great illustration by Kurt Hoffman. It's part of the Forward's new Aging section.
You can see all the stories at this link , including mine. Or just keep reading:.

Elderly. Senior. Senior Citizen. Aged. Olster. Old.

The words rile. They’re not me. I ski, scull, climb mountains, blog, freelance and, yes, enjoy sex, even as I qualify for Social Security. Nor do they describe an energized generation of 60 and 70-somethings and beyond, many of whom shun the word “retirement.”  These men and women may be leaving longtime careers but they are not “pulling back,” which “retire” (from the French retirer) means.

Instead, many are moving on to new challenges and to exhilarating pursuits – bringing their expertise and education to other venues, developing latent skills and creativity, and competing athletically at the highest levels.

Take the Boston Marathon runner shown repeatedly on TV in April as he was knocked to the ground by the first bomb. That was Bill Iffrig, 78, who then stood up and finished the race.

What got me ranting about words used to describe people of a certain age? It was a news story last year about  a woman who fought off a purse snatcher. She landed in the hospital with broken facial bones – but still had her purse. The reporter called her “elderly,” and quoted a police officer who said she was, “like most grandparents, a little feisty.” She was 66.

Now I understand the insult my parents felt when, in their 70s, they came through customs after a ski trip. “What’s in the big bag?” the agent asked.

“Skis,” they said. The customs agent lifted an incredulous eyebrow and laughed.

Older people have long felt diminished by such condescension. In 1940, the industrialist-philanthropist Bernard Baruch (at age 70) reportedly said, “Old age is always 15 years older than I am.” Since then, however, American lifespans have expanded significantly.

In 1960, a newborn could expect to live to age 70. Today it’s 78. And those who make it to 65 can expect to live another 19 years, to age 84 on average.

People who leave careers in their 50s or 60 may well enjoy 30 more years of dynamic life, before they become frail and infirm, perhaps rightfully called “old.”  And the cohort of healthy older folks is exploding. In 1940, nine million Americans were over 65. Today there are more than 42 million – a big group to offend, with the Boomers just entering the frame.

Anna Quindlen, in her book  Lots of  Candles, Plenty  of Cake, also rails against the word “elderly,” which she admits to having used “with casual regularity” as a younger writer. Now 60, she admits that as she aged, ‘‘elderly’’ seemed “more and more pejorative … When people lived to be 65, 60 was old. When they live to be 80, 60 is something else. …So we face an entirely new stage of human existence without nomenclature, which is an interesting challenge, because what we call things matters.”

To keep pace with the changing times, Elderhostel got rid of “elder” and became Road Scholar in 2010. Today,  programs once aimed at “seniors” are now for “life learners.” AARP wants you to forget that its acronym once stood for the American Association for Retired Persons.

The idea of “adolescence” didn’t exist over the centuries when children went straight to adulthood, working in fields or factories. That changed in 1904 with the publication of psychologist G. Stanley Hall’s Adolescence. Now there’s a drumbeat to name yet another emerging demographic, the one before frailty and dependence set in.

In her 2006 book, Doing Sixty and Seventy, Gloria Steinem writes:  “I’m beginning to see that life after 50 or 60 is itself another country, as different as adolescence is from childhood, or as adulthood is from adolescence--and just as adventurous… If it’s to become a place of dignity and power, it will require a movement as big as any other.”

In recent years, writers, sociologists and others have proposed names for life post-60 or so. Parade Magazine readers, in a contest, suggested “seasoned citizens,”  “geri-actives,” “zoomers,” and “wellderly.” Others have proposed “third age,” “third act,” “middlesence,” “late middle age,” and “life- take2.”  

Marc Freedman, a leader in the movement to recast the image of older people, founded Encore.org (formerly Experience Corps) and the Purpose Prize. “Never before have so many people had so much experience and the time and the capacity to do something significant with it,” Freedman writes. “That’s the gift of longevity.”

Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, a professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, titled her 2009 book The Third Chapter and calls this time of life  "the generative space that follows young adulthood and middle age.”

Anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson, in her 2010 book Composing a Further Life, argues that the challenge in growing older is to continue to find ways to contribute, drawing on “the wisdom culled from long lives and rich experience.” Conversely, society’s challenge is “to recognize that contribution and to benefit from it instead of dismissing it.”

So, what to call people like me? I’m okay with “older person” or “late middle aged,” which is how I feel. Better yet, I’m in my “encore” stage of life. Or you could just cite my age, 67.

Perhaps Quindlen says it best: “After the middle ages comes the renaissance.”

Follow my blog at www.UnRetiring.blogspot.com or on Twitter @unRetiring

If 115 is Old, What's Middle Aged?

Jiroemon Kimura,  116th birthday coming up (photo by AP)

Here's a sobering, or thrilling,  thought:
More and more people are living to be 115.  And a whole new generational class has emerged of  "super-centenarians" -- people who have made it to 110 and beyond. (There are 57 such people-- 53 women and 4 men -- counted by the Gerontology Research Organization, though some say there are hundreds alive whose ages have yet to be confirmed. See this extraordinary list of the earth's oldest).
All of which raises some big questions of our time: When does middle age start? What's the definition of "old?" And, what will you do with your life between now and then?  
I spent the morning looking at the data (and some disturbing photos of what really, really old age looks like) after hearing the news that  Misao Okawa, of Japan, turned 115 on March 5 and is now the world's oldest female, according to the Guinness World Records.
But she's not the oldest person. That title has been held, since Dec. 17, 2012 by a countryman, Jiroemon Kimura  who was born  April 19, 1897. (Okawa was born 11 months later, on March 5, 1898.) Kimura's advice is to wake early, eat small portions, and read the paper, which he does with a magnifying glass.

Let's hope Kimura -- a rarity as a man holding the oldest person title -- hangs on awhile longer. Since 2010, which is as far back as I looked, no one has worn the world's oldest crown for more than 8 months.
Here's the list:
Kimura succeeded Dina Manfredini, of Iowa, after she died on December 17, 2012 at the age of 115 and 257 days. Manfredini only held the title for 2 weeks.
Before her, Besse Cooper, who died Dec. 4, 2012, was the world's oldest person. Cooper, of Georgia,  lived four months past her 116th birthday, a feat she attributed to minding her own business and avoiding junk food. She was actually declared the oldest woman in 2010, but wrongly so. 
Maria Gomes Valentim, a Brazilian, was discovered to be six weeks older and took Cooper's title away in 2011, when Valentim's age was verified. Born July 9, 1896, Valentin was world's oldest, officially that is, for just a month. She was 114 years, 347 days at her death, which restored Cooper to the record books.
Before Valentin, a French woman, Eugenie Blanchard, who died in 2010, was the oldest person on earth. She was 104 days shy of her 115th birthday and lived on the island of Saint Barthelemy.

According to the official list of the Gerontology Research Organization, only 12 people are still alive on the planet who were born before the year 1900.  Another sobering thought.

So, when does middle age start? What's the definition of "old?" And, what will you do with your life between now and then?  

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Slipping into the Stigma of Hearing Aids

Even as I have been ranting about the (mis)use of the word "elderly," gently, very gently, my former boss, Gene Foreman, pointed out a moment of ageism in my own writing. Specifically, the way I described former  U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, now well into his 90s, in a blog post and opinion piece in the Philadelphia Inquirer last March.  
Gene Foreman, who set the gold standard for use of language, style and fact checking while at The Inquirer, and later for his journalism students at Penn State, wrote:

Dr. C. Everett Koop in March with wife, Cora

"I'd like to pass along a thought that occurred to me as I read your nice oped piece some months ago about Dr. C. Everett Koop. You wrote, 'Though he now wears a hearing aid, he appeared vigorous, with a full head of hair and his trademark Amish-like beard.'(Emphasis mine.) I think we should de-stigmatize the wearing of hearing aids, and journalists in particular should not assume that a hearing aid makes a person appear frail. Would a person be described as less than vigorous if he or she wore glasses or contact lenses? Why is hearing impairment more remarkable than vision impairment? Yes, I wear hearing aids now (though not as often as my family would like). The Army told me on my way out in 1957 that my time in the field artillery, in an era when soldiers did not wear hearing protection, had damaged my hearing acuity. This started becoming pronounced in my 50s. Thanks for listening--no pun intended."

Gene, also cited the history of The Inquirer's stylebook entry for the word "elderly,"  and agrees that it's time to ban the word.


"As I think we pointed out in the introduction to the stylebook, it is intended to be a living document that reflects evolving ideas. I remember the entry you cited in your blog, and it was composed by the style committee after a writer described a couple in their 50s as 'elderly.' I would agree now with your suggestion that 'elderly' ought to be banned as a descriptive adjective of a person; as you say, let the story speak for itself. Even the adjective 'feisty' could be seen as a pejorative, a condescending term conveying the writer's amazement about the actions and ideas of someone of a certain age. Again, let the reader decide whether this person is 'feisty.'Show, not tell.' "
        

Anna Quindlen on the "E" Word

In her new book,  “Lots of  Candles, Plenty  of Cake,”  Anna Quindlen does her own riff on the word “elderly.” (I was happy to see I’m in good company).  As happened to me,  it's a news story that ticked her off. In her case, it’s when the writer describes  a couple fending off a burglar as "elderly." The woman was 68. "How is that elderly/" Quindlen says she "ranted." "That's not elderly!"

So Quindlen seeks out journalism sites and writing stylebooks “to nail down the cutoff point for "elderly."

She finds that it’s a “moving target.” According to a Pew research report she discovers,  “most people said old age begins at 68. But most people over the age of 65 thought it was 75.” She researches her own clips.

"I discovered to my horror that I had used the adjective with casual regularity.” Though as she edged toward  her current age,  60,  her usage dwindled. 

“As I aged, ‘elderly’ seemed more and more pejorative … In other words, old is wherever you haven’t gotten to yet.”

“It’s all relative,"she writes on page 106, " the way it was when I got pregnant for the first time at 31 and everyone in our two families thought I’d left it rather late and everyone in our urban friendship circle thought I was rushing into it…. When people lived to be 65, 60 was old. When they live to be 80, 60 is something else. We’re just not sure what yet. A friend told me she thought it was summed up in the message inside a birthday card she got from her mother, ‘ After the middle ages comes the renaissance.’”

"So we face an entirely new stage of human existence without nomenclature, which is an interesting challenge, because what we call things matters. That’s why I recoiled from ‘elderly.’ The words we use, and how we perceive those words, reflect how we value, or devalue people, places and things. After all, one of the signal semantic goals of the early women’s movement was to make certain grown women were no longer referred to as ‘girls.’”

Thanks, Anna!

Some of you offered your own thoughts about the “E” word, after my blogs on it..(Elderly, take1 ; take2

“’Elderly’ should be banned." “

That’s what Libby Rosof suggests. “It’s a political statement. I have a 90-year-old friend who’s damned spry and hardly elderly. Just say how old, not characterize. That’s my solution.”

“How about ‘sixty-something’ or ‘seventy-something,’ or is that too cute?” writes a college classmate.

And here is a suggested style book entry for my favorite newspaper,  from one of its former reporters.

 

Murray Dubin, writes:

 “Using ‘elderly’ does imply frailty and should not be used unless the physical stature of the person is important to the story. Adjectives describing age and appearance are charged with meaning. Be cautious using them.  As a guideline. leave them out and use exact age – where appropriate – or no age reference at all.”

More on the Dreaded "E" word ...

Since I chastised the Philadelphia Inquirer the other day for calling "elderly" a feisty 66-year-old who held on to her money while being pummeled by a mugger, I got a copy of its stylebook entry for the word.

A newspaper's stylebook is where --after painstaking thought and consultation with many --

it documents guidelines for reporters' usage of all kinds of words and phrases. The Inquirer's stylebook was launched and carefully nurtured over a couple of decades by Gene Foreman, who was also a stickler for ethics and went on to write "The Ethical Journalist: Making Responsible Decisions in the Pursuit of News."

So what do you think of The Inquirer's stylebook entry below? Is mid-70s "elderly?" (I recently wrote about a man nearing 70 who called himself "middle aged." ) How old do you have to be to be elderly? 

Were my parents "elderly" when in their 70s, they brought their skis through customs and the customs official laughed and, in disbelief,  asked. "What are those?" (Whether elderly or not, they were insulted.)

Is "senior citizen" better?

Got better words for the media to use? Please let me know so we can nudge them in that direction.

elderly Avoid the uncalled-for use of this term. See senior citizens.   Edit   |   Delete

---

senior citizen Use this term only when referring to people of general retirement age, in the mid-60s, or older. Elderly and elderly people also may be used when referring to people in the mid-70s or above - but because these terms can connote frailty, be cautious in employing them.


P.S.  The reporter who wrote about the 66-year-old being mugged did break the style book rules.

Ban the Dreaded "E" word!

How is it that in one newspaper on one day, you can have one man, age 55, described as "charged as an electrical cable... just hitting his stride...[wants] nothing less than to change the world..."
And at the same time have a 66-year-old woman who fought back a purse snatcher described as "elderly"?
Is this what happens in 11 years? Suddenly you cross 60 or 65 (or become a grandparent)  and you're "elderly"?
Or is age in the eye of the beholder?
The story about the 55-year-old was written by a reporter close in age to that of her subject, who happens to be the dynamic Zeke Emanuel (brother to Rahm). The other was written by a reporter some two decades younger.
Or does it have to do with length and depth of reporting?
The Emanuel piece was what we in the trade call an in-depth profile, in which the reporter uses a variety of sources, including time with the subject, to capture his personality. It probably took at least a week to report and write.
The other was likely tossed off in 20 minutes after one phonecall to police. But does quick reporting have to fall into stereotypes? The unnamed woman was described by police as "like most grandparents, a little feisty." She tried to fend off her attacker -- who was nearly a foot taller than her. And even though his punches left her with multiple facial fractures, she still held on to her money.
This is "elderly"?
I say journalists should ban the word "elderly." Let the facts speak for themselves. And if that E word must be used, reserve it for the "frail, elderly," those who because of age and physical change can no longer move around independently.  And even then, note should be taken of the vibrancy of their minds.
Otherwise, the important impact to be made by the legions of unretiring boomers, now leaving their jobs and bringing their energy into new places in their communities, will be diminished.
Away with stereotypes!